The 6 Ju 03 – 

(found smudged, or something)

…ar Matil…

Have you ever loo… out of a window and thou…how far…op migh…e? But it isn’t that. It’s thi…

Have you ever loo…of a window and wondered ho……he world got so small, even though none of it had changed, even thou…t a single part of it had changed at all? Ha…u ever?

When the question gets so long, well, it for…t it has to have the pro…tuation.

Have you ever? Will…ever? I fear I may alrea…ave.

I climbe…p to the top of a tree at th…p of a mountain because I thought it would give me a better view because I thoug………..ld make it all make just a little bit more sense. I got up there, standing on the top branch. The highe……py-top branch. I thought it wou…..ake a little bit more sense.

I saw nothing. I looked and looked and saw…utely noth………t nothing. So what am I to do with that?

Perhaps I should have opened my eyes a little wid……..haps I should have opened them up at all. Perhaps there was nothing to see. Perhaps there wa…….ing to see.

Haven’t you any dreams, Matilda? Haven’t y……ars? Haven’t you any impulses or drives to achieve or – at the least – to just not completely fail?

Have you done this before? I wish I………..ew more. I wish I had a way to make the pai…..and…he joy more. I wish I could manage a way to relieve the world of so much of its dullness. I wish.

I wish.

What am I doing? What am I so afraid of?

Juneau

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