The 17th of April 2001 – Phoenix, Arizona

(found on the kitchen table)

Clarissa –

I’m just tired, that’s all.

I really hope this doesn’t come as a shock, and I know that I’ve been acting very strange lately, but I’m just tired. That’s all.

I’m tired of this place and these people, and I know there isn’t much of a reason to it, but I’m tired.

Did you ever read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? There’s a character in that, and I forgot his name, but he was some sort of army character. He just walked around and mumbled about how tired he was. Nobody really paid him any attention. Nobody asked him why he was tired. Maybe they knew. He was just tired.

I’m like him. I’m just tired.

I’m tired of thinking that there’s more and hoping that there’s more never seeing whether or not there actually is anything more.

I’m tired of waking up and wanting to go back to sleep, not because I’m tired, but because I was dreaming about something so much better. I’m tired of that.

I’m tired of doing nothing. I’m tired of sitting around in this place.

So I’m leaving. I’m going to do something.

I’ll send you post cards whenever I get there.

Sincerely,

Paul

PS – I’m sorry if this puts you into a bind. There’s cash in my sock drawer. It should be good for a couple months of rent money.

PPS – The sock drawer is the second one from the top in my highboy. Ask Terry to clear out the one above it if you get a chance.

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