The 29th of March 2004 – Tulsa, Oklahoma

(found but never read, just in the way it was meant to be)

Excuse me, Your Highness?

I apologize, but the next time you come into a room, would you prefer that I bow for you?

I am only assuming, as you act with such conviction and confidence that I can only conclude that you are some sort of great and divine ruler of a magnificent kingdom, filled with loyal and obedient subjects who cater to your whim and adjust themselves to every change in your comportment.

Why is that? Why do you act as if everyone around you is actually beneath you, as if every one of their opinions and beliefs is obsolete compared to your own?

Would you like me to get the basin and, like a servant, wash your feet? Shall I get the oil so you can be anointed? It won’t be much trouble. It won’t be an inconvenience, not for someone of your stature, certainly.

But see, madam, I’m not your servant, your whipping boy. No, no. It turns out that I’m not who you thought I was, and it turns out that that’s your fault more than it is mine.

I want to know something from you. I really want to find this out from you, okay? So just answer it, for once. For once, you marvelous, magnificent and arrogant mistress of hell, why don’t you just give a straight answer to a simple question.

What, oh what, please just tell me what exactly you think is going on in the mind of a person who disagrees with you?

Besides them being horribly and hopelessly incorrect, of course.

Do you think those people don’t think? Do you think they don’t consider things and weigh their options? Do you think they just hop blindly into their positions based on no facts and no data whatsoever? Perhaps they don’t fully appreciate your perspective, but let me tell you something, alright? Your perspective does not have exclusive ownership of all the facts, understand? Your perspective is not the end all and the be all of the universe. There’s more to the world than just your perspective.

So listen, for once, your majesty? Listen to what other people are saying and don’t just hear what you want to hear. Don’t just twist whatever it is that someone else says into something extreme just so you can take some indignant offense to it.

Just calm down and let everyone be, alright? For once, alright?

I may be a lowly pauper, at least in your eyes, but I know that much, and I know that that much is just enough.



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