The 15th of January 1964 – New York, New York

(found underneath the bench that they had shared)

Holly, baby –

You’re sitting right next to me. You’re right next to me, so close your hand keeps bumping my knee and your hair keeps tickling my cheek, so close I can feel the warmth of your smile.

I keep looking at you. I’m watching the creases on your face, baby. I’m watching them smooth and furrow as you smile to the other passengers. I’m watching the curves of your cleavage as it all ducks safely behind your blouse. I’m watching that spot on your neck that I know you like.

I keep looking at you, and I know you’re sitting right next to me, but I keep seeing you through the wrong end of a telescope. Somehow, baby, you – sitting next to me on the subway – found yourself up on a pedestal in the Louvre. Somehow, baby, you – slouched against that streaky window – seem to be floating by me, up in the sky with the clouds.

I’ve never, ever, ever felt so close to you. Holly, I’ve never felt so close to anyone.

Holly, dear oh dear, you are an intoxicant. I can feel you, whatever it is, just in the air around us. I breathe it in and drink it up. I let it percolate in my brain and give it the chance to just knock me out cold. And if I give it that chance, I know that it’s going to take over. It’s going to just knock me straight out cold.

You know I’m overheating right now. I’m sweating through my shirt, sitting here next to you while we zip through this freezing tunnel underneath our city. The fluorescent bulbs above us can flicker bright and dark all they want because, Holly, I’ve got enough light just sitting here next to you.

It’s that intoxicant, Holly. I feel it picking away at pieces of my brain, just the way alcohol erodes away at my consciousness. Is it love? Is that what this feeling is, this drug, this anesthetic to the mundane obscurities of reality?

Whatever it is, Holly, I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m so sorry baby, but I’m just feeling overwhelmed.

Holly, baby, I want to kiss you. Holly, Holly, I’m feeling overwhelmed.

I want to kiss you.

Now hold my hand, please.



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