The 18th of November 2008 – Baltimore, Maryland

(found in the gutter)

Harold,

It’s just been one of those days, you know? It’s just been one of those days when you just can’t do anything but sigh and sit back and wait.

I tried to get out from under this rain cloud for once, instead of hoping the sun would burn through it. Usually I just sit in my house and wait, honestly, just wait. But I got outside. I went to the gym. Sometimes that helps, going to the gym, getting outside, seeing people. That sort of thing sometimes helps.

So it’s last Monday, and I’m in the gym, going through a workout, trying to just pummel these thoughts out of my head, you know? Just trying to get them out no matter what it takes. But they put up a good fight. Thoughts, the worst thoughts too, just stick to my brain like they’re glue.

I’m lying on the bench about to push through another set when this song comes on my IPod. See, I didn’t really try this time. I was hoping the music would do it for me. I just shoved those earbuds in and tried to shut out the world. But it didn’t really work. It didn’t work because this song comes on my IPod.

I have 150 pounds of steel hanging over my neck when Stevie Nicks starts wailing out “Silver Springs.” I almost dropped the bar, man. I winced, and I felt my heart implode, and the black hole that it left just about sucked all the energy out of my body. I almost started crying, man. I could barely hold back the tears.

I had to get out of there, so I did. I jumped off the bench and ran out of there. I left all my stuff in the locker room, too. I didn’t have my ID or my phone or anything. With tears in my eyes, I had to beg the lady at the front desk to be let back inside. She didn’t understand. But she still let me through.

You know, man, I guess I’m just not feeling it. I guess it’s just not here right now, whatever it is that I’m after. It’s just one of those days. But it’s been longer than that. It’s been one of those weeks, you know? Or maybe it’s been one of those months or one of those years. What if it’s going to just be one of those lives? What do I do then?

Clyde

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5 comments

    1. Thanks for reading this far back into the archive. I appreciate it!

      And you should keep up the great work too. I really loved your “Silent Hands” piece.

      1. Heck I thought I was following already. I am now. Looking forward to enjoying more of your work in my Reader. This is such an imaginative, original blog. So much theatre work relies on correspondence coming into the action so I am learning a lot here. Also the pure quality of the different writing styles is awesome! 😉

      2. Wow! Thanks so much. I’m glad that you’re able to take so much from my writing. I hope you continue to enjoy it, and keep up your great work too!

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